Before living second shame had kept in the grip of fear. Fear that I would be exposed to the sin of lust and self gratification. On top of that confessing my sin when knowing full well it would happen again seemed to grieve me more. If you can imagine someone being chained to a whipping post waiting for the whip to strike at any moment that was my life. Day in and day out, twenty four hours a day waiting while still sinning. Why ask for forgiveness and continue to live as a hypocrite? I had reached the peak of regret when I was so filled with remorse I turned to the only one who could help. Jesus. Now I thought if the media hadn’t tempted me it would be easy to overcome this addiction. No, that was an excuse. I was too weak in spirit to fight it. In my asking for forgiveness and the will to overcome this it happened like in the blink of an eye. Scripture says, if we ask it will be given to us. All I had to do was believe and have faith. It has not been easy since. It is more important to me to share my story of redemption and not hide my scars so to speak. If people want and need a sermon, it won’t be found here. Maybe it is best just for me to give my testimony of God’s great love and give Him the glory. I have heard it said that when someone becomes a new child of God the crying ends. I am here to tell you the tears continue to flow down my face occasionally. Tears of joy that is. My name is Howard S Coughlin and i am second.