compassion, confession, faith

Month: April, 2016

What if….

When I first started writing here it was done on a tablet. Try to imagine typing on a tablet with a seven inch screen and seeing the end result when complete. The choice to upgrade was the best choice. Now it is done on a laptop. That was my first What if moment.

Next year I will reach a mile stone. Reaching the age of retirement according to Social Security Administration in 2017 gives me much satisfaction. So what if I did retire from my job?  No more setting the clock alarm for 5:30 am. No more spending my first waking hour getting dressed and putting on steel toe boots. No more scraping the windows of my work assigned pickup truck every frosty winter morning before driving to the office. My job is not labor intensive by any means. Just driving continuously around town for eight hours a day, five days a week and locating underground traffic signal lines. I could work a few more years maybe.

What if I put retiring off for awhile?  Medicare goes into effect soon for me, plus I have medical insurance at work? I suppose waiting until the new president is elected is another option to consider. All I am left with is too many What if…choices.

The bright side is at least I have this laptop to write on.

Walk for Autism

Being a grandfather of an autistic child has been an educational experience. Ever since my grandson was diagnosed with the disorder, learning everything about it took me to many different internet sites. The one site that is most informative is Autism

My mother taught me to support worthwhile organizations. Autism Speaks helps raise awareness, fund research, provide vital resources and advocates for the needs of people with autism. Though I am a man of limited means, purchasing t shirts, hats and wristbands are within my means. Every morning I slip on a autism speaks wristband along with my iamsecond wristband.

This year there are numerous walks supporting autism.The closest walk for Autism Speaks is out of state in Kansas or Texas. None were organized in our state of Oklahoma till I found our local Autism Center of Tulsa was having their 10th annual A-OK Walk for Autism.

Looks like we will have our grandchildren all weekend again since the A-OK Walk for Autism. is April 30th, 2016. Downtown Tulsa has a gathering place called the Guthrie Green. The walk begins there at the Guthrie Green and ends a few blocks away inside ONEOK Field, home of the Tulsa Driller Baseball stadium. One lap around the infield before crossing the finish line is where participants stop and enjoy Autism Awareness Night at the Tulsa Drillers baseball game.

Support autism awareness!

Happiness is…..

This weekend was like most weekends when the grandchildren are with us. I normally get them after work on Friday evenings. By Saturday afternoon the grandchildren’s mother comes by to take them with her after school. This weekend the kids were with us till early Sunday afternoon.

At our age both my wife and I are needed to work together because one us can’t manage alone. The grandchildren are four and three years old. Between diaper changing, meals and snacks, cleaning up after them and changing clothes life is non stop.

There are moments of great joy. Our grandson is autistic, yet he says the most profound things. Yesterday he said , “I don’t think that is a problem”. Normally words don’t come out clearly spoken. See there is joy in hearing him express himself. He and my wife have a special bond. He and I take walks around the neighborhood and we converse some. He just walks on top of the curb and stops every so often to point out trees and plants.

Now my granddaughter ah, she has me wrapped around her finger they tell me. She thinks I am a Jungle Jim. Let her sit on my feet while I do leg lifts, push her up and down the driveway on her three wheeler and whatever else she can dream up. Today she sang the alphabet song a  b c d e f g…… now I know my abc’s….Then just before she left she sang, “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” song, word for word.  Children surprise you when you least expect it.

Sometimes when I hear the grandchildren are going to be with us all weekend I groan, ugh. But as soon as they are in my vehicle Friday afternoon the groaning turns to happiness.  In my prayers I thank God for giving me kids that call me Grandpa. Grandpa, the most joyful word in the universe.



Pain and Suffering

Yesterday we moved our mother to the memory care wing at her assisted living community. She is now using a wheelchair to assist in her mobility. She can stand though only for less then a minute.

Her mother before her had rheumatism just as my mother does. Never have I heard either of them complain about the condition.

Now as I have aged my fingers on my hands don’t straighten out. Placing my palms on a flat surface and trying to make the fingers straighten out is painful. Giving back rubs for my wife is impossible. When my neck moves about, right to left there is a faint crunching sound. Sitting in my recliner in a reclined position my right knee will rotate ever so slightly. While laying in bed rolling over on my left shoulder causes pain.It sounds like bone on bone.

The only complaining I do is to myself and my wife. Why complain about it anyway. It was inevitable.

My mother used to say to me, “Howard, don’t get old”. I knew at the time what she was referring to. Just the thought of the opposite of not getting older was not my plan. The only thought after hearing her say that was to be prepared for it. Now it has become part of my physical self and know it could happen made living with it easier.

Some people want something to relieve the pain. If the pain threshold chart is between one and ten, I am at eight and a half till a Tylenol is needed. Just Tylenol too, nothing by prescription.

Of course praying for relief has always weighted heavy on my mind. Many have taken their pain and suffering to our Lord Jesus. Plenty of people have been healed by a Marian Apparition. Even in the Gospels of the New Testament people were healed by just touching Jesus’s garment as he move through crowds. It is not faith alone that heals pain and suffering. It is faith in God and His power to heal us.

Scripture tell to ask and it will be given. Is my pain so great that it is unbearable? No it is not. When do we reach the point when suffering is to great to endure? When it does for me I may tell you.

… on growing up magic

Remember the Peter Pan song from the Disney movie version… I won’t grow up I won’t grow up I don’t want to go to school. I don’t want to go to school Just to learn to …

Source: … on growing up magic


Good choices, I made some.

Buying used instead of new.

A mortgage instead of leasing.

Stopped smoking pot.

Became a joiner.

Stopped being pessimistic.

Went in for a sleep study.

Switched to vaping, yes I know……

Found the love of Jesus in my darkest hour.

Finally accepted that I will stumble but, am still loved.

Started a prayer life.

Decide my church is where I shall remain.







Last night I volunteered at an event here in Tulsa. Outcry Tour was in need of volunteers to help in whatever capacity needed. Outcry Tour comprised of four Christian music groups. Hillsong Worship, Jesus Culture, Passion, Elevation Worship, with Martin Smith an artist and pastor Brian Houston founder of Hillsong Church.

I chose this event to experience worship of Christians as one instead of separately in their own churches.

This was the third opportunity to volunteer at a Contemporary Christian Music event since January of this year. Each event was similar in its production.  Three or four groups well known for their type of Christian music at each event. Each artist or group has clothing, CDs, books and whatnot for sale at tables setup for this purpose. This is where volunteers are needed. Ticket prices alone were between $100 and $30.

It amazes me how much money is brought in at these event from the items we sold last night. I do understand that it cost so much for artist to go on the road for concerts like these. This tour alone was in fifteen cities in this country.

But something just didn’t feel right with me last night or it must have been a comprised of all the three events together.

It is just the idea of paying to worship together I guess. I do not pay before entering the church on Sundays or any day to worship my God. Yes, we should tithe to support the church .

I had the chance to experience worshiping in a way different then what I am accustomed to. Is it some other way I will do again? Probably not likely to happen. To each his own I always say.

For those of us who haven’t the resources or the need to attend these high priced events, we still know that we are one in worshiping our One True God where ever we may be.

Peace be With You.


Donald Trump, Disagreeing, and Dialoguing for the Faith

The Domain for Truth

(Note: This is a guest post written by Pastor Micah Anglo who runs a blog called Truth with Love.  I am currently away and thank Pastor Anglo for this guest post.  If you have thoughts and questions, feel free to comment and when he has time he will respond.)

Donald trump dialogue disagreement apologetics

Can Donald Trump teach us something about apologetics and evangelism? I think so! If you have paid attention to the Facebook feed (or the news), then you are aware of the issues with Donald Trump and his rallies. Trump supporters and protesters have been engaged in hostile and even violent interactions as way of demonstrating their disapproval and disagreement.

Sadly, it is upsetting to see our country’s inability to communicate and dialogue about issues where we disagree. Though I don’t promote Donald Trump and his positions, I use him as an example of our society moving from discussion and dialogue to…

View original post 449 more words


So, two days ago I went to a memorial, and as I was sitting there, I kept thinking to myself that I wish he could have been there to see us all talking and eating together, like one big family. I w…

Source: Gone


You have seen the large black lettering on an orange background of road construction signs when entering a construction zone possibly. Well in my occupation that is where my work takes me frequently.

On Monday I received an email from the Oklahoma Department of Transportation announcing that the next two months, Oklahomans will have the opportunity to learn how they can be part of the “first line of defense” by putting away distractions and becoming more alert as soon as they see orange signs, cones and barrels along state highways and interstates.

Most of my work is in construction zones on city streets. For the last two days I have been inspecting traffic signal construction on a four lane divided thorough fare. The work zone is clearly indicated with 25 mph speed within the work zone. All day long the presence of motorcycle police officers are visible. Never the less hundreds of speeding tickets are issued to violators. Exceeding the posted speed limit in a construction zone has fine that is doubled when workers are present in Oklahoma.

Before I ever became an inspector I learned the construction methods by working on construction work crews. Many years ago we were doing bridge work and lost a work truck from an accident on the bridge involving a truck who entered the work zone to fast. Luckily we were working below the bridge deck.

The State of Oklahoma has made it illegal to text while driving. I can attest to the fact that it is still happening while observing others while driving everyday.

On May 9 the I-40 Sky Dance bridge in Oklahoma City and the Tulsa Performing Arts Center in Tulsa, will display orange lights to remember ODOT’s 59 fallen workers and serve as a visual reminder to put down distractions and get safely through work zones.

Two years ago two friends of mine who worked for a signal construction contractor were killed in morning rush hour traffic by a doped up kid who lost control of his vehicle. Attending these two men’s funeral really drove home the awareness of work zone safety.

It should be perfectly clear by now that I don’t blog for a living. I watch out for my ass while at work because most people don’t see me because they have a phone plastered to their head.

So please wherever you live and drive , GIVE US A BRAKE.